Had Nothing To Do So…Here

I love looking at the moon…always have…don’t know why but a full moon always puts me in a whimsical mood*soft smile*& guess what…it’s a full moon tonight=] many’s the time when I sat outside my tuition centre (next to a drain for pete’s sake) & gazed at the moon…heck…if I happened to be alone I’d sometimes sing softly to myself*rueful grin*I’ve always had a particular fondness for full moons…in fact I have lots of good memories that involve full moons…sometimes if I was completely alone I’d pretend that if I stretched out my arms far enough I could actually touch the moon…odd huh?historically speaking the moon is a ‘yin’ element that incorporates femininity & softness as well since females are characterised as being ‘yin’ in nature…it’s strangely coincidental but many cultures the world over seem to associate the moon with separated lovers…from the Chinese to the Indonesians, etc…well…Chang-er for example…there are many versions of this Chinese tale but my favourite is the one where the Goddess of Mercy granted her moon goddess status because she sacrificed herself to save both her lover & the people of China from terrible chaos…unfortunately this meant being separated from her lover who became the sun god…& well…barring eclipses…have you ever known the sun & the moon to meet?beats the one where she stole the pill of immortality from her husband anyway*grin*this is more prevalent among Asian cultures but the Caucasians have their own way of viewing the moon…somehow or other though the moon is usually associated with females…look at the Diana the Huntress…her symbol is represented by a crescent moon…even witches were said to dance ’sky-clad’ under the light of the crescent moon…who knows?whatever really…with or without another person…I still like gazing at the moon, wondering at her mysterious depths =]

y’know…sometimes I think I’m a pretty lousy friend…that my personality is such that I just suck at the whole thing…I always look at the worst case scenario…I’m naturally a loner, cynical & suspicious of people…at times I give people the benefit of the doubt but I don’t really believe in them…damned hypocritical isn’t it?there are times when I rather dislike hope although I recognise its sheer power as well…I mean…most of the time people are going to screw you over one way or the other so why hope for the best?expect the worst, work from there, prepare contingencies & then go out & smile at them…what kind of a person does that?I know this is wrong…that to think like this is horribly self-defeatist but sometimes…god…I wish I wasn’t such a pragmatist…having said that I feel impelled to point out that I have met several exceptions to the rule & that my brain is rather foggy from lack of sleep right now but…I wish I could be more of a bitch…unfortunately…call it a boon or a curse…I can always see things from the other’s point of view…sometimes it might take me a bit longer to do so but eventually I do get there in which case I can’t really stay angry & frustrated…I just try to figure stuff out ASAP so that it can be done & over with…not to say I’m a damned saint…I just get over the urge to shoot people with a sniper fairly quickly…I once read of this witch who found a novel way of punishing those who offended her…she found it much more expedient to make people think they were frogs instead of all the hassle of actually turning them into one…talk ’bout a novel approach*sardonic grin*I’m in a strange mood today & this’ll probably blow over within the next half hour or so…funny…the thoughts that cross my mind when I’m overworked & deprived of sleep*sigh*